Dick In A Bun.

It is 2 AM on an average Friday night. We've hopped to yet another bar, and in a bout of exhaustion my friend and I collapse into two open chairs near the entrance. I see another one of my friends being lured further into the bar by a small blond, whom we later find out, used my heavy-set friend to scare off another creep, then proceeded to thank him with unwelcome and inappropriate molestation.

Meanwhile, as my friend and I await the return of the rest of our friends, we are approached by two guys, whom on any other night, might have been appreciated for their looks and charm. They introduce themselves and engage us in seemingly harmless small talk, and I humor them while my friend rests miserably on my shoulder.

Guy 1: Wanna see a text?
Me: Incoming or outgoing?
Guy 1: From our friend.
Me: ...Sure?
Guy 1: It's a bit inappropriate.
Me: Ok...
Guy 1: He JUST sent it to us and we wanna know what you think.
Me: (Shrug) Alright.
Guy 1: You really wanna see?
Me: I guess?
Guy 1: Ok Ok, just, Ok.
Friend: (Irritated sighs)

He opens his cell phone and shows me a picture text. And it is in fact, a dick in a bun. A hot dog bun to be precise. So I sit there, processing the fact that a stranger in a bar just exposed his friend's dingily dongily to my friend and I. I respond in a playfully sarcastic manner, as not to sound completely bewildered.

Me: Wow. Tasty looking dog.

My friend curiously peeks at the picture text, which is still lingering in my face. Her response.

Friend: So what. A hot dog.
Me: ...
Me: Uh...

I whisper to her silently that it is not a hot dog, and her innocence explodes in unrestrained repulsion. Our friends finally return and we exit the bar. A hot dog stand on the corner sizzles loudly, and I realize that hot dogs in New York will never be the same again.